2X Heavy Dose 4-AcO-DMT (Very Dumb Trip-Report)
Hello all, I'd like to share an experience I had with 4-AcO-DMT. I'll start by sharing the dose that sent me on a trip. This dose is more than twice the heaviest dose recommended. We took around 114-115 mg... alone... at my house... where my parents live. Dumb. I sometimes call myself we instead of I, not sure why but it feels natural. So watch out for that.
Me(at the time): about 17 and 1/2 years old. Mentally unstable (due to mental illness, not related to depression) Hearing voices and seeing objects/people/animals that are not there on a regular basis... (About 3-10 major hallucinations per week). Currently taking Fluoxetine and Wellbutrin for depression and one forgotten antipsychotic that did not work well for me at the time. In addition to all of this, I have taken LSD before and I'm not sure if it is from the LSD or from my Pre-existing conditions, I experience HPPD on a daily basis, 24/7. So it is rare for me to see clearly.
Set (Mindset): Severely depressed and basically has given up on a future for oneself. Thinking wholeheartedly and with a grin "What else do I have to lose? I've lost my body, my soul, my mind, everything. I do not know what to do anymore." We were very excited for this forthcoming event that was to happen no matter what. I was determined to take this chemical compound even if my house burnt down before we started. "I" wanted change... Now.
Setting: Was at my house during summertime mid-August. My parents were home and it was around 5:30 at night. I live in the upper Midwest so the weather is fair at around 76 degrees Fahrenheit. Started in my room and moved to multiple places around the house.
If you want to skip the warnings of this report, just skip past the Brackets "[...]" or move to "Initially before I started" below.
[WARNING!!! I made many mistakes in the adventure which could have turned horribly at any time... Please take the correct precautions when taking a new or any psychedelic compound. You can find out very quickly how overwhelming these substances can be. I will be stating my flaws throughout my story but I will try to state them here.]
[--- Do not take psychedelics ALONE! (Even if you tell a friend over text or through a call, always have someone there!). I did not tell anyone what I was doing. First Mistake.]
[--- Do not take more than a recommend Dose if you are not prepared, ESPECIALLY when you have never taken the substance before! You don't know what it will do to you!!! I took more the 2X the recommended heavy dose on my very first time... alone... without telling anyone... I realize how irresponsible and see how dumbfounded I am just by acknowledging this. ]
[--- Always test your Chemicals! I did not test my chemical before taking this... I could have taken something that was not supposed to be there and died... by myself... with my parents near by...]
P.S. I dont want to lecture you all because I know the common knowledge of the people reading this know everything stated and would not come close to making these mistakes... One last thing though.
[--- Know yourself... DO NOT. I CANNOT BE MORE CLEAR. DO NOT. TAKE PSYCHEDELICS WHILE NOT BEING IN THE RIGHT MINDSET! For anyone wondering... On psychedelics you can become very emotional and I mean that but 100X the regular emotion you feel on a daily basis. Being as I was, I was not in the right mind to take a psychedelic, let alone smoke weed by myself. I could have hurt myself or even worse, with no regard for anyone else. You tend to forget about others when you were as self centered as I was and you could very easily make a mistake. ]
[Note: On today's date, I am doing much better than I have been in the past few years and I am very grateful for that. This is due to Very Loving Friends and Family that I have to Support me in my Journey. The rest of this report is just of what I previously felt. I feel that it could possibly help some people understand more. It is a story. ]
Initially before I started: We planned to take around 30-45 mg of the 4-AcO-DMT around 5:00pm. I cleaned my room beforehand so I didn't have to look at a mess while tripping. I knew this would please my inner self. I didn't know when I would get my concoction, but I planned on taking it immediately. I got the stuff on a Tuesday afternoon and so it began.
4:30 pm - the prep stage. We began in the basement of my house. The floors being split by an entrance stairwell on the ground floor with stair either leading up or down from the entrance area. In the basement, we cleaned up my computer area in my dads office. I had Rocket League running in the background and multiple web pages (7 different pages) full of informative descriptions(5 pages) and trip reports(2 pages) of 4-AcO-DMT. I then moved to my porch area out back of my basement. I stepped out of the screened in porch and set up a chair looking out into my backyard. My backyard consists of about 15-20 feet of space before there is a wall of trees and an open water swamp that extends hundreds of feet further out with cattails littering the edges and middle area.
5:00 pm - I return to my room with my intentions set and my scientific mind running wild in hopes of creating the psychedelic experience of visual and auditory hallucinations before I even take the drug. I take out my milligram scale and open the package containing the goods. I take my miniature drug shovel and dig into the bag expertly to make sure I don't spill any of the brownish crystals. We scoop once - 15 mg, We scoop twice - 23.7 mg. My brain, in a complete beastly nature turns the bag of crystals upside down and almost 1/3 of the bag falls into the small dish holding the "Key". I stop and stutter my hand. Knowing if we were to touch the crystals with my bare hand, it would immediately start absorbing into my skin and my dosage wouldn't be precise.
5:30 pm - Grumbling about the small mess I made, the scale reads 114.68 mg....... With immense Darkness in my heart, trembling in my own skin. I feel an urge... Unconsciously lifting the small diskette holding these immaculate chemicals. We feel the Dark Red Anger fill the Endless Void in the center of my chest and with an overwhelmingly rush of a mixture of what I think Adrenaline, Dopamine, Serotonin, Epinephrine, and I believe to be Emotion... I drive the pile of chemicals to the back of my throat and swallow... With this intense ritualistic experience coming to an end, and a strange bitter taste in my mouth, I feel... Content.
5:45 pm - Flushing my mouth with different types of sodas/pop, I swab my mouth to try and ease the urge to puke my guts into the bathroom sink. Upstairs, in an interesting and mild Manic episode. I rinse my mouth and then go to my kitchen sink to clean my mouth. My mother standing close does not flinch. For I take Kratom at times and do the same after consuming the Vile liquid.
6:00 pm - Only being about 15-20 minutes later, I was surprised to see things... Clearly. It seems my HPPD has taken a break in its torment and had subsided for this experience. This is what I crave when taking hallucinogens, I've noted this experience in many of my psychedelic adventures.
*Note: a lot of people including me tend to see things more clearly when taking a psychedelic, besides the innate hallucinations.*
We slowly started to realize that everything around us had a specific geometric shape and had a place to sit in my upstairs living room. Everything seems to be... Just Right and In Place..
6:15 pm - We move downstairs to the basement and out the back onto my porch. Slowly realizing that I am getting of feeling of being higher and higher by the second. I don't feel cracked out, we feel a sense of warmth and a headiness that feels like I smoked a bowl of weed. Slightly off balance and a heightened sense of awareness, I sat in the chair I pre-planned myself to enjoy earlier that evening. I attentively look down at myself, not acknowledging the ever expanding and twisting universe around me. We note that the hairs on my arm are now twisting in an upward motion and outwards of my arm. A swirling whirlpool that seems to be grasping the air around me. I bring my arm close to my face and see the hair is now giant, like trees in a forest, I see them now, clearly.
6:30 pm - *You begin to see my true state of mind in these next parts of the trip.* I sit attentively in my chair watching the trees in front of me make a mosaic. I watch these three dimensional trees turn into a two dimensional piece of artwork, the trees wave up and down at me and swirl inward into each other, the edges of space and time around the limbs themselves seem to fade and all I see is black on the edges of my field of view. With the night rising and the Sun falling. The colors of the trees start to set with the night. Dark... Gloomy... SCARY. I begin to feel a creeping feeling in my spine, like something was watching me. I begin to look in either direction making sure I am alone. The Feeling is Unearthly, my chest seems to be Closing In on itself and the feeling in my arms, legs, and most of my body seem to become cold and drained of this immaculate energy I was feeling prior. I look forward... I look... Inward? Towards the center of the spinning in the trees. BLACK, DARK, EYES. Pierce my heart. Hundreds... Millions of EYES Watching me! There all red and glowing faintly. Just waiting, watching me from THE OTHER SIDE. The Side Where No Light Escapes.. and there are nothing but MONSTERS! This portal in the middle of the trees grow with the swirling effect. The edges creep further and further outward and then out of nowhere... SPIDERS, Giants of the insect world CRAWLING OUT of the portal towards me... I am Absolutely Petrified. I cannot move for my primitive instincts of fear have kicked in. I am Trapped, Surrounded, Helpless... The spiders edge closer and reach for me, they grab at my arms and legs, and climb onto my body. I feel my feet to my head swell with terror as these giants attempt to rip into me piece by piece. I feel an intense Dark Energy fill me with GREATNESS. I feel ABSOLUTELY OVERPOWERED with UTTER DYNAMISM! I think to myself "Oh the Horror, the Spite, my absolute Demise and finally my Death... How.. HOW INVIGORATING!" As this horrific event continues to unfold, the Dark Energy teems within me and I feel Unstoppable, like if anything were to touch me, I would overwhelm it with power and it would just explode into clouds of energy. I watch these spiders crawl across me and the elegance of their legs dancing across my body and their fangs, their giant fangs trying to pierce my flesh, I feel like a God from the Underworld and I am in Control.
7:00 pm - With this absolutely impossible feat of energy within me, I leave the outdoors and leave my senses behind. The feeling of God Power leaves me as I push it away, I knew it was just a Fasad. Feeling out of my shoes I roam my basement for some time, liking this newfound energy that I never knew we possessed. We move upstairs to my kitchen were my parents sit and eat. I eagerly great them and ask how their days were. Being out of character (happy, energetic, and poised) I give my parents hugs and tell them I love them and that I would be nothing without them. My parents seem muddled, knowing I have experienced Different drugs before as well as different Manic states, they worry without saying.
7:30 pm - We take ourselves down the stairs to the entry way, I move myself outside into the garage which is open and just park myself on a seat out in the driveway. Thankfully there was a chair in the garage that I could use because at this point, the body load was so high that I could hardly move around my house. Surely Slumped in my chair in the driveway, I look into the stars and just think. I sit and think for hours... "Why me? Why have I been summoned to live on this earth?" "What is wrong with me? How can I fix this?" I sit out for so long and with my parents on the Radar, my Dad comes out to the driveway for a visit with me. He asked me, "Hey buddy... are you feeling Alright?" I responded, "Dad... I feel the Best I have ever felt in a long time...". We traded some more choice words and he said he was going to get ready for bed and we said goodnight.. Once he went back inside We sat in that chair completely Bewildered by the Stars. It was the most Fantastic Parade of Shimmering Brilliance, Ballroom Dancing In the Sky. Fantastic Categorical Colors Rush from One Spot to Another. The Stars Destined to Align into Vast Geometric Patterns, Arcs of Lightning Striking the Stars into Smoldering Rubble.
9:30 pm - We finally returned inside my home. I was exhausted from the light show outside, everything is starting to get a little blurry here. My senses felt overwhelmed and needed a break, so I took a trip upstairs and got myself some water. Its common for me to not remember to drink water when I trip, but its extremely refreshing when I get some. I remember I sat on the couch and I looked at the ceiling. This was Especially Nice because I have a Popcorn Ceiling, the ceiling with little bumps on it and the bumps make little shadows. Very nice for tripping. My mind was Perplexed, all these Tiny Dots Roaming Across the Plateau. It Seemed as if Millions of Ants Swarmed My ceiling, Completely blocking the light. This Army Turned to a Shadow, Long, Growing all across the ceiling Covering Everything in Midnight. The Air turned Toxic, Green, a Thick Fog Flowing through the Room. I could Barely Remember where I Was. Something Came over me and I Returned to Earth, I took a Breath and Exhaled Readily.
10:00 pm - We knew the trip was really just beginning. I had a Feeling that something was gonna show up, Usually the Trip comes in Waves and that wave had just passed. It's Really just the Eye of The Storm... You Don't take a Break Once ya Start. I believe we took a trip to my room and we sat for a bit looking at my Tapestry I had put up a while back. It's a Tapestry of the Forest, Moonlight Blue Across the Atmosphere, Stars Ablaze, Snow White. The Blue Swept my Vision and I was Held Captive, My body On Lock, A Brisk Frost Flowed into the Room Like Lava. I completely lost my mind. Giant Trees Bouncing Up and Down in a Three Hundred and Sixty Degree Cone Around me. I could see it all, I truly believe I must have been unconscious with my eyes open. Looking Deep within, I see the lines, the lines within the Blue, These lines are Cell Walls and Membranes, Trading Phosphorous Ions as well as Calcium Ions, I see the walls Collapse and Open Upon Each Other. The Inner Workings of a Cell in motion all seen with my very own eyes. I started to get a little Freaked Out, this was a little Much. I Try to Tear my Vision From The Tapestry... It's like my mind was Nailed to it. Straight through My Skull, Something was Holding Me There. I Look Deeper... An Arm, Green and Hellish, Lapsing into an Inferior Skeleton. I Can't Believe my Eyes, I have to Get Away from This Thing! With about 80% of my Energy, I Rip my Vision from The Tapestry. I was Exasperated I couldn't do it The First Time. An Interesting Experience Indeed.
10:30 pm - Sitting on the side of my bed facing my closet. I look up and see my closet door. It was, rather Strange. The Wooden Doors were Waving at me... the Motion was Intrinsic, Belonging Natural; Essential. I felt as if this Wood was like a Door to the Living. Not as if the Door were Alive, but as If it Came Naturally. The Door Said Hello to Me, not spoken, but in the Form of Mother Nature... The Ether Around Us Smothered Me. I look up and see the Popcorn Ceiling again and laugh. "What an experience im having..." is what I said aloud. I sat there for a little, and it came to me. "What an Real Experience im Having!" I thought. I Blew a Reassuring "Whew." and to make sure I wasn't Acting Strange, I went to my Mothers Room to say Goodnight. ( At this point, I felt very Calm and Clear Headed. The body Load was Clearing up and I felt I could move easier.)
11:00 pm - *Spoiler* This Gets Interesting... I Remember the next part much more clearly for some reason.. Maybe because this was a life changing moment.. or because of what went down. I moved towards the down stairs but then all of a sudden. Wow! My cute little dog comes running up to me in the hallway. I speed walk to my puppy (Hes actually 17 at this point) and Greet him. "Hey Buddy! How are you!?" I reach down and pet him in his favorite spot, behind his ear and a little down. He sits and wags his tail and I just look at him. My Scientific Brain is Activated by Seeing another Animal Besides Humans. I Break him Down While he Sits. My Brain Scans His Body, Organs, Bones. I see Where all of It Goes. I see his Life expectancy Which is around 10 if you're Lucky, Anything on him that can be Statistical I see it. How many Nails does he have, how long are they, what are its predators, its prey and then It Hit me... I think "Why do I think all of these things about my Friend When I can just Love him the Way he is? Hes my Best Friend!"... Then I look up. My Friend. My Pal. My Little Puppy. He sat there and Looked Intently at me. The memory starts to slip into view and I push it away. I say "I love you." And The memory Slips Back into View and He starts To Slip Away... I Now Remember That my Friend had Passed away a couple months ago...
11:30 pm - *Still Getting More Interesting*... With a Good Feeling on our Inside and a Tear in my Eye, I was Grateful I got to see my Friend again.. I Continue Into the Kitchen from the Hallway and take a Loop around the Bar. A Somewhat large Island in my Kitchen. I head Down Stairs into the Bathroom, I do my Business. Knowing well and clear that I just Peaked and I was only going down from here. That was a good relief. Little Did I Know... Taking More Than I should Have May Cause a Different Experience. Standing in My Bathroom I remember a Term, "Ego Death". ---Start of a Rant, Skip for Story.--- It's when you completely Lose sense of yourself and you Instantly forget who you were. I say "were" Because I've heard that at this point you have changed your life. For good or for bad, its for you to decide. Your Reality, Friends, Family, You. Are Wiped New and you have the Plasticity for a new self like a Five year old. Eventually The drug will wear off and you will go back to yourself. But that one change, Your Mind Morphed To Forget Everything You Have Ever Known and Start New on The Spot for at least a Good Portion of Your Trip. That'll Change Someone. ---I have Caught Myself Ranting. Back to the Story.--- I think to myself "Wow... I think I'm having Ego Dea-". Looking in the Mirror, I see, I see, Nothing. My Brain, all of its processes, Facial Recognition, Eyes, Nose, Mouth. Completely Blurred to Nothing. I Stop trying to see myself so hard and just relaxed my eyes and just Looked.. I see... Wow, I see.. Me? All of a sudden The Wave Rushed Up my back! I was Hit with that Little Sparkle, You know, when you arent really seeing things but everything seems a little more... Real? My Legs were Launched Into Outer Space, My hands Heated to a Quadrillion Degrees! My Torso Filled with this Immense Glow. Its like a Beacon had Ignited Within Me. For some Reason I noticed my Field of Views to Get Severely Morphed. I Felt as if I was Ten Feet Tall and as Wide as a Door ( I'm actually 6'2" and 215 lb at this time). I could feel it, It was an Internal Shift Coming, I knew it was coming, and It was Straight To The Face. My Brain became Bombarded! Dopamine Like Tidal Waves as High as Everest, Serotonin The Sea Monster Bekens Itself From The Deep Inside of Your Brain Stem Seeping Through The Cells That Holds Em. Epinephrine Like a Spark Plug Erupts My Cerebral Cortex, with the Neurotransmitter of the Fight an Flight System, I am Wide Awake, My Brain on Overdrive. The Chemical Cocktail Brewing Inside My Brain Cells Don't Cease to Amaze me. I am sent to Heaven as if I Died by Thanos, you know when it feels like your whole body Dropped itself into a Million Pieces and you feel each orb Floating in the air as if it were you yourself looking back at you. Your Terror when you instantaneously Dissolve on The Spot And Each Nerve holding You Together is Firing Because In Reality It feels Like you Were Put in a Meat Grinder But feels like Ecstasy... Minutes Later I Fixated my eyes and Realize I've been standing still in the bathroom for about 15 minutes staring at the door and looking behind the curtain of reality. After Teaching myself that I was God and Giving me the Confidence of a Bull, I started to believe that I knew everything about everyone and I knew the truth behind life and why we live. I believed that I was the most special person in my life and have a whole lifetime to give. I realized all we wanted to do to each other is make sure we are comfortable. We just want each other to feel good about themselves.
12:00 pm - Realizing I may be more Fucked than I thought, I rush upstairs towards my room. I get to the door and look inside and the light is on. Just feet behind me is my parents bedroom door and its open. Not knowing what was about to happen, I got this strange feeling to stand still, focus, and close my eyes. Nothing and Everything you wouldn't Believe happened. I saw... well to tell you the truth, there really are no words to describe it. Think of Heaven, Earth, and Hell... The Demons from Hell came Swift with Immense Power, a Dark Sword with a Single Heart in the Middle, its Glowing. Darkness. Gripped by a Hand of Corrupt Cataclysmic Demon Lord, Wielding it to Crush The Gods. Meeting Between Heaven and Hell Upon Earth, An Angel Meets the Demon Lord with a Spear of Radiance. It Cleaves The Demon In Half Releasing Every Mortal Soul The Demon Lord has ever Pilfered. The Gleam Emitted from the Demon was so Devastating it Merced the Entirety of Heaven, Earth, and Hell, and my Eyes, when I closed them. But seriously, it must have been the Definition of Insanity, Nothing but Desolation of my mind, The Image in my Brain was one of the Impossible, I could not comprehend what we saw. Slowly thinking I may go insane if I stay looking at this image. Image is a small word for this feeling. This Feeling had me In A Room Surrounded by these Colors and Swirling Designs of Mosaic Masterpieces, I had that one feeling when you are Flying In a Dream. I Floated there, watching... Thinking "I'm on the Edge of Insanity... What if I looked over and just saw what there was." So I did... There was no time... I was there for an Infinite amount of time like I was never there... When I peaked over, I saw myself sitting in my room... It didn't look like me, but I knew it was me, and it sat and looked at me. It smiled, If I were to try and explain what it looked like, it would be me made out of Play-dough with all different assorts of colors building it. I didn't look at it long before I opened my eyes. I was getting tired of this trip.
12:30 pm - I finally entered my room and laid on my bed... After this there wasn't much that happened. This usually happens for my trips though, They are really intense at the beginning and then they die off. I still feel a little strange but nothing out of the ordinary... At this point, I listened to about two hours of music and then fell asleep.
Next Day ---- I still Feel a Strong Afterglow upon waking. I feel as if my life has been altered forever.
Years Later --- Personally writing this years later, I think this was one of the most important things I have ever done for myself. No matter how irresponsible it was or how much I thought of myself before hand. I cannot be more thankful for what that trip showed me. It taught me to love myself and to love my friends and family. I do not promote the use of any RCs, illegal, or legal Drugs.
submitted by AdrenalineMedal